Takin' Care of Business

Ridiculous Dilemna!

2007-10-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time since I've posted, but this one is blog worthy I think. So last night I am headed for bed. I go to turn off my kitchen light (which by the way provides 70% of the light to my kitchen/dining/living room area. Then I think, "shoot, I was going to get a glass of milk." So I attempt to turn the light on when lo and behold - light burns out. No biggie, right? So I go to the closet, get the extra bulbs, and grab a chair to boost up on. Well, when the evil people in the lighting business created my kitchen light, someone must have really pissed them off that day. This fixture is so absolutely ridiculous! A) I can't figure out how to even get the thing off. B) If the case is that the fixture is just stuck, I should for sure have broken the glass by now - but all still in tack. I SO don't want to call my landlord and be all girly about it. Therefore, I shall spend the next however many weeks until a boy of some sort comes to visit me to have them change my lightbulb. Until then, mood lighting made from the faint hallway light that creeps into the kitchen and the light above my stove.

I can't change my own lightbulb. This must be a new all-time low. :)

It Must Be a Calling

2007-09-04T22:02:00.000-05:00

So I bought a new couch the other day and had it delivered to my apartment. The two guys who dropped it off were nice guys; just taking a semester off or time off from school and working as a furniture delivery person for the time being. Last January, my parents bought a sleep number bed and had it delivered and set up at the farm. I let the boys in and low and behold, these were nice guys, just taking some time off school to either figure out what they wanted to major in or to save some money by working in the furniture delivery industry.

Okay, these were two completely different companies, which just made me laugh. Furniture delivery must be the calling for guys in their late teens/early twenties who just don't know what to do with their lives. I see their point though; they get to drive around and hang out together, take long lunch breaks, and finally show up back at the store by closing time. There are perks to be lazy, and I'm pretty certain that these guys enjoy their fair share of those!

AWKWARD

2007-08-22T19:25:00.000-05:00

I highly dislike the first week of school - actually about the first month. Its so uncomfortable and awkward to find boundaries/limits for students, as well as get to know their personalities, home lives, and what their home life brings to their school life. It takes time, but I just don't like all the awkwardness that occurs in the "exploring" process. But each day that passes will reveal a little bit more, so that is a good thing. September 28th is my goal for reaching a point where all awkwardness goes away and to have fallen into routine efficiently; both for me as a teacher and my students as middle schoolers.

Family Week

2007-08-11T21:24:00.000-05:00

WOW! Vacation was awesome. I got to spend a
week at my favorite place on earth (LIC). I got
to be a camper for the first time in 11 years
during family week. I got to spend the weekend
with my relatives. I got to see a bunch of my camp friends from years past. I got to babysit
Payton twice and see her everyday for seven straight days. But I think most of all, God led me to a place of healing in my mind and my heart for all the things that happened in the past year. I guess as usual, we just needed some time in the middle of a lake with a fishing pole in the water for Dad and I to realize that we've both grown up and also grown apart in our opinions and beliefs. I cannot change him and he will not change me. But the smile on my face in that picture is genuine. No matter how angry, upset, hurt, or abnormal you believe your family is, at the end of the day, they are your family, and no matter how dysfunctional they may be, we are blessed to have whatever family we have. That's what Family Week at Lutheran Island Camp taught me this week.

Vacation - All I Ever Wanted

2007-08-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

I love that song....

Especially when I leave for vacation tomorrow and since I haven't gotten to attend our family vacation as a camper for 11 years. I feel like a kid again getting ready for camp; and I must say, I LOVE IT! And we have a new super-fun little girl in our family who is going to make vacation even more fun!

So for those of you who will be at camp this weekend or next week, can't wait to see you. To those who won't, there's a sneak peak at a beautiful certain someone who, sadly, you missed. :)

Those Eye-Opening Moments

2007-07-30T21:59:00.000-05:00

There are times in this life when I feel like God has whacked me in the face with a "DUH" stick or something. Thing is: it doesn't usually hurt - it actually feels good most of the time. I find myself being close-minded too often. I know what I believe and what I feel is the line between right/wrong, however, I think that I don't display the Christian example like I should when people near me cross over that "line". I've always been a big believer in "stand up for your beliefs even when you are standing alone", but I'm that that isn't the best way to witness most times. As sinners, we are tempted to feel like our sins pale in comparison to others' sins, but in God's eyes that is not the case. As Christians, we know that we should forgive the sins of others because Christ first forgave ours. So it becomes an issue of "how" we go about forgiving. I was able to forgive a great friend recently for something that she did wrong (wrong in my eyes). But I KNOW I was also forgiven for my rage-filled actions in the way I confronted her sin and chose to hold a grudge about it. What I thought was such a terrible thing she did, she truly showed love, forgave my ridiculous actions spurred on by my own sin of anger, disappointment, and jealousy, and brought us both to a place where our friendship has been strengthened so much that I know it will last a lifetime. And in the process, she saw my side of the issue and I learned to become more accepting of other people and their faults, just like they try to do with me.

My small piece of advice is that if there is a relationship in your life that needs restoring - RESTORE IT NOW! I promise its so worth it!

What's Great About South Dakota

2007-07-19T16:11:00.000-05:00

So its been a couple weeks here in Sioux Falls, and I've had the opportunity to check out what I really enjoy about this place.

1.) The grocery stores give you gas coupons and the discount changes daily. Yeah, I saved 6 cents a gallon today at the pump!
2.) While there may be tax on clothes and food, the sales tax here is lower AND taxes on services are amazingly low, too.
3.) There are 2 teacher stores within a mile of my school.
4.) Rent is far cheaper than anywhere else I've lived.
5.) There are parks EVERYWHERE! Frisbee golf, basketball, tennis, swimming pools, bike trails, benches to read a book on...
6.) This lovely little place called "R" Scrapbook Store - amazing!

So things are good. I think I like it here. :)

Getting Settled

2007-07-14T13:43:00.000-05:00

I'm officially in Sioux Falls. I'm in my apartment, most of the boxes are empty now. I've seen my classroom, and its ready to be organized/decorated as soon as I'm motivated for that. And I've seen the curriculum. Turns out I will only need to prepare 5 lesson plans a day for this year. Compared to the 10-14 per day that I prepared during my first 3 years of teaching double grades, what a piece of cake!

So my goals this year are this:
1. to join a gym and be faithful to working out
2. to join a church and be committed to at least 2 committes/groups
3. to coach at least one sport at school
4. to take a grad school class
5. to get a new car.
6. get a 2nd job, maybe... :)

What's Great about July 2nd

2007-07-02T15:32:00.000-05:00

Alyssa came home from Thailand today
I traveled to the cities and back and not once had to stop for traffic-related issues
Its now only four days until I move to Sioux Falls
I got a bed frame so that I will again have a bed when I move
My new bed has only 3 parts in comparison to like 63 (anyone who has helped me move before totally gets this one)
I have all these great new pics of Payton that are suitable for framing
Its not raining but crummy enough outside to make me not feel bad about hanging out in the house and reading a book to pass the day away
Its only 3:30 - so more great things can still happen -stay tuned...... :)

A Long Era Comes to and End

2007-06-23T09:47:00.000-05:00

I just finished my last 2 weeks as an employee of Lutheran Island Camp. Yesterday I left the island with a feeling of contentment, accomplishment, and satisfaction that the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into that place over the last 10 years made a difference in the lives of the people I worked with and worked for.

Camp is such an amazing place. For many of my friends, its wonderful because that's where they met their current spouse. But for me it holds something different. In the past decade I've been able to watch and work with former JC's and campers of mine as the grow into young adults and become staff members at camp. It was a cherished memory to be part of the reason they wanted to work at camp, and it is a joy to see how much they have come to love the place. Watching camp become as important to them as its been to me for 25 years is an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.

As always, there are so many fond memories of camp, but I will share just one here from the past two weeks. It came from the mouth of Sarah Swanson, long time July Family Week camper. She and I are at the square dance one night during evening program and she turns to me and goes: "What kind of people do this - like farm people?" Rendered speechless at the voice of Sarah Swanson. To say this to me of all people - I don't even think she knows I live on a farm, but it was completely hilarious. :)

Checklist

2007-06-07T18:02:00.000-05:00

Find a place to live. CHECK!

Apartment found, deposit made, lease signed, its real!

3,2,1,FLY!!!!

2007-06-02T10:39:00.000-05:00

I flew on Thursday! Brant and I got strapped, harnessed, and hooked up to a whole bunch of cables, lifted up hundreds and hundreds of feet, and dropped from the ripcord on Thursday at Valleyfair. It was awesome! This is normally never something I would have spent the money to do, but when a former student of mine (who used to have anxiety attacks on the morning of a volleyball practice) asked me to go with her, no amount of money in the world was going to stop me from helping her conquer a fear. Turned out in the end that she went with another girl from her class and brant and I swapped to go together. But to watch those two girls have the guts to do that was purely AMAZING - especially knowing how far they have come in the past three years. Brant and I just stood on that sidewalk and beamed with pride. And of course Jenny's laugh/scream/cry mix of noises was absolutely hilarious!

I went to see my new school last Tuesday. It was, in short, awesome. I get to teach in a small building called the "Eagles Nest" and my students will switch classes on a bell system like a real school! And the best part was that instead of my teaching middle school math and lang. arts, I get to teach middle school math and social studies. I love social studies/geography/history so I am so happy about that. There is a nice mix of young and old teachers, married and single teachers, and the school is growing - yes growing!

Payton is now 13 pounds and so big! She almost completely folded her hands (not on purpose obviously) when I was holding her. Yes, its cliche', but they really do change so fast!

Big days

2007-05-19T20:27:00.000-05:00

So i've maybe had a couple of big days in the past few. I accepted a job to eat 7th grade homeroom and middle school math and language arts in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. So the big news here is that:
a) I'm going back to teaching
b) I'm going to have health insurance again in 2 months
c) I no longer have to live with my parents!!!!
I'm really excited. God is good; when I think about the "perfect" job, I usually think location. But this call to Sioux Falls plays exactly into my gifts and strengths as a person and educator; middle school, math, coaching, opportunity to play on a praise/worship team. I couldn't have laid out a better job for myself. I regret that along the way I worried and at times didn't believe that God was going to get me out of the situation I was in. But wow, God is faithful.

So I currently work part time. But I think that part-time is a relative term. I am working 6 straight days, 8 hours per day. Does that sound like part-time to anyone else????? I hope not, cuz this kinda bites. But I do need the money I guess.

Its a pretty little town....

2007-05-14T17:43:00.000-05:00

I don't think they write about it in songs. I'm pretty sure its never been the site of any major movies or television shows, but its a pretty little town with a pretty Lutheran school and they said to me, "Hey Brenda, you should come and teach here." And after this year in Farwell, the hallelujah chorus began to play.

Too bad three schools said that at one time. The hallelujah chorus is now sounding more like an emotional country song.

2007-05-13T17:25:00.000-05:00

I knew that I was going to love being an aunt. But February 17th, I learned about a kind of love I had not experienced to this point in my life. The joy that Payton brings to life is so amazing to me. The miracle of life is so much more real to me now. Being adopted and the youngest, I never really witnessed new life that closely before. I love Payton more than I ever imagined I would - and it makes me want to be a mom. Not right this moment, but definitely someday.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, to my sister on her very first Mothers Day, and to all mothers who have been blessed to take part in that vocation!

Good Conversations

2007-04-25T10:26:00.000-05:00

I had the pleasant opportunity of chaperoning the Jr. High Youth Gathering at Concordia, St. Paul this past weekend. While Jr. High can be a challenge, and my group was all girls (yikes!), what a splendid time we had! The girls really liked their counselor and I got to catch up with camp friends, old college friends, some Wagners and Renee Lach, and most importantly, Seth and Emily Gehrke. I finally got to really get to know Emily and I've decided that Seth is a dearly fortunate guy. They work as a couple so well together and it was inspiring to see that happen for a good friend.

I was talking to my boss last night about a new schedule thing and he asked me for my preferred hours. I didn't answer right away so he thought maybe I didn't know what "preferred" meant and began to explain it. I busted out laughing, like the burst-out-laughter kind in the middle of his explanation. Now thoroughly confused, this man looks at me and goes, "Do I have something on my face?" I told him no, but my hesitation to answer his question was purely because I have no life really, and I schedule my other jobs and activities around this one. I was just hoping not to say it quite like that and sound like such a loser. So this guy (and this is the second time I've ever spoken to him) proceeds to high-five me and go, "Yeah, I have no life either. I just hang out with my dogs." Wasn't expecting that from the boss-man.

Quote for the day came this morning: Dad and I were outside and I was going to put gas in the skidloader. Dad had been trapsing around for awhile and was starting to feel the pain in his knee, but decides to walk with me to the skidloader to "help" me put the gas in. I told him I could do it without him and he looks at me and goes, "Well, I can't just stand here. When people just stand around, they have to stand around and look pretty, and I'm way too old to do that, so I might as well walk with you and work."

A fun visit!! :)

2007-04-15T20:56:00.000-05:00

Baby Payton came to visit us this weekend. Ok, baby Payton and sistah Chonnie. :) Both are fun, but Payton is a wee bit cuter (of course). Payton is growing so so fast! She has the cutest little baby feet in the whole world!! She entered the double digit world of weight on Easter - weren't those the days!! Hehehehe... Payton got to meet Grandpa Martin today too - he's not really grandpa but he is the coolest "Grandpa figure" any kid could ask for.

Hmmm, what else..... I have an interview for a middle school position @ Sioux Falls Lutheran School on Tuesday. If I get that call I am going to need to better learn how to spell Souix. I"m not sure yet...:(

Favorite moment of the day:
We sat behind my second cousin Jordan in church this morning. He was being rather squirmy and so during communion he began poking his uncle Lee and and his aunt Heidi in the ear. While that was humorous enough, he was also cutting a molar at the time so the kid's finger was spending a great deal of time in his mouth. At one point, right after having his figure in his mouth, Jordan leans over and wet willies Lee. Hilarious!

Taken for Granted

2007-03-01T15:00:00.000-06:00

Dear God,

Please remind my dad that I gave up almost everything I had this year to help him. Please make him be kind and thankful, and at least a smidge grateful for my bending over backwards on a daily basis to do what he says and make him happy. I don't know how much more I can take.

Status...

2007-02-22T08:24:00.000-06:00

Well, according to Uncle Bill, my car is fixable. We found a guy with the parts I need, and Bill is willing to take on the challenge of fixing away at it. It needs a new front axle, the tire rods are broken, and something is wrong with the brake line. How that is fixable I will never know.

I just thank God for so many things right now. I should have been hurt - who hits a steep ditch at 65 mph and doesn't get hurt?? Most people die; but God knew I didn't have medical insurance and I wasn't even really hurt. My car should have rolled; my wheels stopped turning almost immediately and my car instead of rollling just skidded up into the cornfield next to the ditch. I have great parents; they wait for a tow truck with me, offer me their vehicle whenever I choose, let me know they WE will figure out something to get me on wheels again, agree to co-sign for any loan I may need to buy a new one.

What a week. I really like to close my eyes and have the whole week over. Right now.

Payton Maurine

2007-02-21T14:08:00.000-06:00

Here she is! She is so beautiful. Connie herself even looks at her and wonders how they got such a cute baby. As you can also see, she takes her Auntie Brenda's breath away and Grandpa Kuhnau is pretty amazed at something so beautiful.

It Could Be Worse

2007-02-20T08:19:00.000-06:00

1. I could have rolled.
2. I could have called more people at 1:30am and had them not answer their phone.
3. I could have damaged my car beyond repair.
4. I could have been hurt and needed medical attention when I don't have medical insurance.
5. I could have missed the chance to meet my brand-new neice Payton Maurine.

Longest weekend of my life over. I don't think I've ever experienced a weekend with so many highs and so many lows in such a short period of time. My body is physically sore, but my mental state is an emotional wreck.

Fun Things :)

2007-02-12T20:16:00.000-06:00

The last 2 weeks have been fun! Let me share:

I spent Superbowl Sunday in Indiana cheering the Colts on to VICTORY!!!
I saw Addison Bumbleburg for the first time in a year and a half and she simply WOWed me with her brilliance and personality!
I raced through O'Hare airport just like in the movies (except I wasn't trying to stop a plane for a guy i was in love with or anything).
I spent a fun time with Lindsey Burken - yay for sleepovers!
Choir started back up at church
I got to spend time with our youth at church 3 times in the past week.
I have a teaching interview on Tuesday.
I finished the brochure for Day Camp at LIC. What a releif!
I talked to my sister and found out that my little niece/nephew may not be so stubborn about coming out after all!
It was above zero degrees today!

The Unknown

2007-01-30T15:18:00.000-06:00

Why are we so afraid of the unknown? Some people are more than others I realize, but that fear really dictates the decisions we make in our lives. And for most, I bet if they look back at the times they were unhappy in their life, they see that it directly correlated to a fear of stepping out of one's box and consequently being bored of the same things.

I admit I have a fear of the unknown. I know this is most evident when it comes to relationships, but it definitely shows in other aspects of my life, too. However, after living with my folks for awhile, it has been eye opening to see that fear in my own father. Here is this man who I always thought could do anything - and what I found was that he is terrified of what he does not know. He does what he knows and only that. He stays in his "box" and refuses to peek out the hole in the side. He is comfortable, he is familiar, he feels safe.

But how safe is it to live in a world where a person never exits their comfort zone of what they know and are familiar with. I suppose its probably the safest place to be, but it makes people close-minded and so fearful of that unknown. The less that's known about it, the more we fear it.

I have learned that though it may be safe, staying in my box is not satisfying for me. Maybe others have found enough joy to last them forever and never feel a need to press outside of their "box" and learn what the world can offer, but not me. I feel that God made the world this size for a reason, he put so many people of so many races on this earth for a reason, he made so many different regions and landscapes for a reason. I want to push open my box; I want to step outside my comfort zone and see the world, be immersed in a new place with new people.

May God grant the courage to continue to live outside of my box. And expand that further and further with time.

Name that Movie!!!

2007-01-25T12:03:00.000-06:00

Ok, its time to play my favorite game! In the past week I have seen two great movies; I laughed and cried in each of them. Here are my favorite quotes:

"The horse weighs 1,200 pounds, I'm an after thought."

and.....

"Last year we were in the squirt league, this year we're in pee-wee's, what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate?"

Your turn! NAME THOSE MOVIES! :)

I forgot about it!!!

2007-01-15T19:26:00.000-06:00

Wow! I totally forgot that I had a blog and I should update it like every three months or something...isn't that just ridiculous!

Well, for fun news I got to see the POP kids and parents this weekend. And I got to hang out with the Rohwers on Sat. night which was quite fun as well. The basketball teams are struggling a bit this year, but they are all heart, which is truly was POP basketball has always been about. Poor Brant though, he has so little to work with as a coach. I hope he is able to be creative as the season goes on!

In the other news department, my dad is having back surgery on Wednesday. He will be in the hospital 3-4 days and then 6 weeks of little to nothing except light walking. Ha! Have these people met my dad?!?! We'll see I guess.

Its T minus 33 days until Baby Bleess is due and I am going to be the godmother!!! Yay! I'm excited to have such an important role not only as an aunt but as a godmother, too. Sweet!

And finally in the humor department: I went to church with Brant and Kim on Sunday and the highlight of the service (outside of a fabulous sermon) was an 87 year old lady seriously JAMMING on the piano! She sang every word of every song and did all these cool top to bottom things and seriously, she was banging on that piano, making it rock and roll. It was hilarious!!

Until next time...hope its not 2 months from now!

I'm afraid to be crabby

2006-11-01T22:43:00.000-06:00

I have this new job. Its great - although I'm still in the training session and my brain feels like its on overload and I wonder why I can't memorize 8 hours worth of talking everyday. But its great - partly because of all the nice people I work with.

Nice as defined above doesn't just mean "good" people. I am talking super happy, energetic, uber helpful, always smiling people.

Bottom line: I'm scared of being crabby at work. When i'm crabby, I usually don't want to be cheered up. I want to wallow for awhile and eventually I come around. However, I fear these "nice" people will try to come at ever angle in the cheering up department.

Conclusion: I must never be crabby at work! Oh Lord, help me!

So many words are appropriate here....

2006-10-15T23:07:00.000-05:00

Today is my adoption anniversary...26 years ago today I was adopted and named. I think that's cool.

This morning I heard the COOLEST story and the BEST sermon i remember to this point in my life. Faith. We say we have it. We think we have it. But is it in our hearts? Is it real? An entire congregation gathers one Sunday afternoon to pray for rain due to a drought - this community had seen absolutely no rain for 2 months. So all the people show up, sit down, and wait. The pastor gets up front, looks around and tells the congregation to go home. Frustrated and confused, the people ask why they are being sent home and the pastor holds up his umbrella and says, "Because if you really believe that God will answer your prayers, then none of you have come prepared." HOW COOL IS THAT???!!!

I'm definitely praying with my umbrella from now on if you know what I mean.

46 degrees...

2006-09-18T21:46:00.000-05:00

Rain and cold together is really really stinky. Working outside lasts about 10 minutes before you are wet and freezing, and working inside only lasts about 15 before the dust gets to ya. What a worthless day of doing next to nothing. Hopefully tomorrow will be dry...cold I will deal with. But dry will make me so very happy.

Eight Years of Avoidance....down the tubes

2006-09-01T23:04:00.000-05:00

The Kuhnau's have a tradition. When we all get together for your birthday, all the cousins have to huddle around the cake behind the table and take a picture. By the time you are about 10 years old, the magic of that birthday picture is gone, but to appease our mothers, we continue to allow them to take the picture each year. Since about my junior year of high school though, i have gotten out of those annoying pictures...until tonight.

Tonight we celebrated Laura's 17th birthday. I went simply for the social outing because cripes, I live in Farwell. When it came time for cake, I went upstairs to sing Happy Birthday and was conned (no pun intended) into this picture. I had to laugh though, thinking of all the years I got out of this tradition. And now, I'm just one of the "kids" again.

A bit of a flesh wound

2006-08-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

So my latest project has been building a patio at my parent's house. It has proven to be a much bigger job than I had anticipated, what with placing 250 or so cement blocks into straight and level rows tightly together. Well, my dad went to town last week to get the last bunch of blocks I would need and when he got home, he commented on how he felt bad for our one-ton truck, which was hauling all these blocks. Turns out that each blocks weighs 42 pounds and there were 185 of them on the truck. I thought, "Wow, they don't feel that heavy."

WELL...............................

Last night I was trying to finish up a row and I had a block standing next to where I was leveling some dirt. Apparently the block wasn't quite level because all of a sudden the block went crashing into my leg. For the first time, I acknowledged that yes, the blocks do in fact wiegh 42 pounds each, and my leg now has an ugly flesh wound to prove it. Boo.

Mary Kay Lady

2006-08-21T09:35:00.000-05:00

So i have decided to go into business for myself. Yes, I have become a Mary Kay Lady. Actually I have become and Independant Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay, Inc. but that takes a long time to both say and write. I know you are all laughing right now if you know me, but I think that my intent in this was good. If I can successfully handle Mary Kay, I can work my own hours, and have more flexibility for when my dad has surgeries this year and needs my at the farm. Also, when I think about Mary Kay and makeup, I truly think that God has made all of us beautiful on the inside first. The outside is the side that he gives us to play with. I've enjoyed playing with Mary Kay as a customer (within a budget of course), so now I want to share in the fun with others. So for all of you who need a Mary Kay lady, I'd love to play with you!!!

Camp Girl

2006-06-27T13:16:00.000-05:00

I am almost a month in the camp world now, and while I think I am completely exhausted, it has been fun. I have met a couple of cute boys already, found SO many random connections to strangers just because we are Lutheran, and played some amazing games of Darebase!!!

The rest of my life is a huge question mark right now, but I know that God is going to point me to something this fall. So until then, I'm going to be content with some Darebase, Eagle's Eggs, guitar playing, fire building, mosquito swatting, and chlorinish smelling water fun times!!!

The Last of the Blogs for Many a Day

2006-05-24T16:43:00.000-05:00

So as life takes a new turn on a new path, this will be the last blog for some time. My cable disconnects on Friday, I move on Saturday, I start camp on Tuesday, I finish school a week from Friday, and I have no permanent residence until Labor Day, this is the end of virtual Brenda for awhile. (Not that I've written recently anyway).

Funny story though. So I'm in the shower this morning, and I go to push the button down on the faucet of the tub when BAM! The faucet falls off of the wall leaving water shooting at super speed out of the wall at me! I was really really tired this morning. That totally nipped the grogginess in the bud!

Off to more packing. And cleaning. And dusting. And moving.

Until..................

life in a warehouse

2006-05-10T18:24:00.000-05:00

I feel like I live in a warehouse. Sort of....

Actually, I feel like I live in a storage unit. Could there BE any more boxes taking up space in my apartment? My place has never been this messy; even the day I moved in wasn't this bad! There is no point in cleaning, so I don't clean. I will do the final cleaning at the last end. But I can't seal all the filled boxes because as soon as I do, I will need something inside the box (you know this has happened to you - and yes it already happened to me). So I come home everyday to my own personal pigsty. 2 weeks and 2 days more of the pigsty and then it will all be gone and packed away into a real storage unit, rather than an apartmenty looking one.

I'm looking forward to the next step in life. LIC, here I come!

Losing Touch

2006-05-06T23:51:00.000-05:00

Tonight I got together with some friends from college. Now while I"ve only been out of college for three years, it amazed me tonight to find out how many people that I went to college with are in a near proximity to me in the cities. I realized that I had lost contact with a lot of people by moving to Indiana for a year, but tonight made me very grateful for the ties I was able to keep, and that allow me to make contact again with others.

I worry that it will all only get worse when I move to Alexandria. I pray that i'm able to keep in touch better. Friends are a lifeline in this world. I thank God for all of mine.

I met an angel...

2006-05-01T19:01:00.001-05:00

I had a meeting today. I asked a ton of dumb questions, then asked the same questions over again. But I think I might be the smartest person ever now.

I learned all about investing today; where I need to go in life and what my goals/dreams were. How does a person who has never had a good paying job get ahead in life? I learned today. I know the coolest woman ever. She works for this company called Primerica and seriously, I think that she's an angel straight from God Himself.

If you think you need to start investing, but you don't have much money to start out, or you have absolutely no idea where to start (that was me on both accounts by the way), I have the woman for you! Her name is Crystal Kumpula, and she is AMAZING. No lie, if you are at all interested in getting started, let me give you her name. She'll make it happen without making you feel one bit inferior for not doing it sooner.

I met an angel...

2006-05-01T19:01:00.000-05:00

I can't stop!

2006-04-18T18:48:00.000-05:00

I love to bake. I love to take a whole bunch of small ingredients and create a masterpiece. Even if its just cookies, I LOVE to cook and bake.

I don't so much love to eat what I cook and bake. This is one of the reasons I need to run. (hehe) But its so fun to make all kinds of food - especially now when I know I don't want to move boxed food and little ingredients, I figure, what the heck, I'll make something with it!

So if you are hungry, come and visit me! You will leave feeling quite bloated and very full. I promise!

Evidence

2006-04-13T17:37:00.000-05:00

I told them that I hate Cadillacs. They looked only for Cadillacs.

I told them I would never drive or ride in a Cadillac again. They buy a Cadillac in ANOKA and drive home without it.

I told them I'm coming home on Easter morning. I'm driving a Cadillac home at 9pm on Thursday night.

Evidence. My parents love to make my life miserable. I was actually a relatively good teenager. I'm not so sure that I deserve this. Because even in addition to all of the above, I have to buy them paint, then go home and paint THEIR bedroom, as well as drain my life savings to put gas into that gas sucking Cadillac! Grrrrr!

Gib strikes again.....

A Riddle for YOU!!!

2006-04-04T17:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, last night I went to handbell practice. I grabbed my wad of keys, quick locked my apartment door behind me, and headed off. I got outside to my car when I realized that I did not have my car key. However, I still drove to handbells without going back into my apartment.

How did I get there???????

THAT is the question! (Mmmmuuuuaaaaaahhhhhhahahahahaha)

Micah Vivian

2006-04-01T08:01:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the world, Micah! Yes, I met what may be the cutest baby ever born on March 30th. Named after her grandmother, Aimee is a proud mommy to a beautiful little girl with a full head of black hair. And I mean full!!!! I've never seen a baby with that much hair! It is absolutely crazy! But what a sweetheart. She really is just precious and has her daddy bustling around trying to make everything perfect for his new little family. Apparently Michael was a little surprised that it was a girl; he truly thought for the past 3 months that the baby was going to be a boy. I laughed when he said, leaned down in Micah's ear and said, "Ha ha, Daddy, you just wait until I'm a teenager. Then you'll really be suprised!"

2006-03-28T21:54:00.000-06:00

Its out. The news, the truth, the announcement, its out!

I feel so much better. A relief for sure and a weight lifted off my shoulders. I can countdown now, I can look forward to new horizons, and I can search the possibilities.

By the way - 45 days. Yes, 45 days.

So much fun!!!!

2006-03-25T14:27:00.000-06:00

At 4pm on Friday afternoon, my entire weekend went into this super fun whirlwind. Amy calls, offers to drive me up to Alex with her for the weekend, and by 5pm, we are on the road out of Elk River. Well, Amy wants to stop and see her nephew, so we hang out for awhile with Ashley. Then I find out that a bunch of my cousins are meeting a friend of ours who has been sick, and they invite me to join along. So I went and watched some basketball, drank some beer, chatted with Kristina, and bullshit a little with Brad, Jon, Luke, and Tony. I cannot believe how much fun I had! I want to move back to Alexandria TODAY after having great nights like that!

In addition, i saw some poeple from high school, and it was good to catch up. You just can't judge people on how they were back then. So much changes. And its so much fun to see those changes, too!

snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow

2006-03-21T10:12:00.000-06:00

Yes, if you live in Rapid City South Dakota, you can see nothing but, and the discussion of the month has now become about how much snow has fallen in the past week. Some spring break for me! I can't wait to re-enter MN to see what spring is looking and feeling like. Anyway, this weekend/early week has been fun. Lacey got a snow day so we got to hang out and watch movies yesterday. Today she's at school, but that gives me time to work on my school things, as well as fun, relaxing, do-nothing type things.

On a happy note, my cousin Doug is getting married! this is exciting because no one ever thought he would. He is in his late 40's, and he hasn't dated much in his life. He is a great guy; shy but funny. And now, he is not only going to be a husband, but a step-dad too! To a teenager no less! But it's cool. I'm super excited to be able to see him on his big day!

Confusion

2006-03-14T20:55:00.000-06:00

How can a person be so clear and yet so completely confused? Almost everything in life right now has me twisted in knots. I think I know what I want, but how will I know if the right decision is to go with my gut? I worry sometimes that I'm not interpreting God correctly. I think "whoa, that's a sign from God" but what is He saying? Is it a yes sign or a no sign? So confusing.

Meanwhile, I found myself talking in the 3rd person on 5 different occasions today. This is something I almost never do at all. Hmmmmm.....

I blame this whole day on the fact that I was in a skirt for 13 hours. That just instantly throws a girl off. At least a girl like me!

yes its geeky, but I love it all the same

2006-03-06T20:37:00.000-06:00

So I joined the handbell choir at church as a favor to a friend. When I joined I thought it was pretty geeky; like I was kind of a musical reject who couldn't make the vocal choir or something.

Well, then I got to know these people in handbells and I totally love them! I get all caught up in the geeky!!! Its just fun to try to play more bells than you have hands, and switch them while inside your hands, all while trying to not freak out about truly having NO clue where you are in the song.

I'm glad I joined. It gives my Monday nights a purpose.

What I don't understand

2006-03-05T11:22:00.000-06:00

I've always been taught (and I try to teach) that God will never give us more than we can handle. But I'm just so torn up about this:

I have a friend who in high school, developed Chrone's Disease. then in college, after a number of assorted health issues, had to have his colon removed. Now at the age of 25, just after finally getting his college degree, he has been diagnosed with cancer in his bile ducts, and after chemo treatments will need a liver transplant to stay alive. And that's only if the treatments work as planned.

My question is this: why does Satan keep picking on the same people? You would think if he picked on all of us a little bit, he'd spread to more people. But I guess he has a plot here, because although I consider myself to be a firm believer, this whole thing has DEFiNITELY shaken me.

Ski Trip

2006-02-27T21:15:00.000-06:00

This year's ski trip...no students got injured beyond a sore ankle and leg.

Their teacher.........SAME THING!!! Without the sore leg and ankle part. Yay!

And bonus! I got hit on by one of the chair life guys, too!

Good day.

Great day.

The glitz and the glamor of it all!

2006-02-23T20:06:00.000-06:00

Today was the end of a great run...

My basketball team went undefeated in regular season conference play this year; something I TOTALLY did not expect. And my second player made a three point shot! Yay! She was an 8th grader, so that was fun. I was proud of how they played through pain and injuries to end their season on such a high note.

But wait - the state tourney is still ahead of us! I am so totally caught up in all the magic, spirit, and fun of the experience, which I think is only helping the girls to get more excited about it all, too. We have signs, pom poms, cheerleaders, and a TON of heart going into this weekend; POP is going to rock!!!!

Whoa....hottie coach

2006-02-20T21:25:00.000-06:00

I watched 13 basketball games this weekend. 13 junior high basketball games. But although this sounds exciting, there was something even better about this weekend.....

It was the super hot coach for one of the boys teams. I was secretly cheering for their team from my professional position at the scorebook cuz dang, he was good looking! I spent 2 games just watching hottie coach get mad at the refs, frustrated with his players, and excited about his team (which he didn't show a lot of emotion there ironically). Wow, it was worth the 8 hours of my life spent at the scorer's table on Sunday.

I think I shocked EVERYONE at Prince of Peace when I outwardly told poeple that I thought the guy was hot. People realized that Brenda CAN be a girly girl; even if she is just being silly!!!!

A best cheeseburger I've ever had

2006-02-04T20:41:00.000-06:00

After spending the night at home with my folks, I awoke this morning with a task at hand....

Dad and I were going to finish the job of butchering this morning. We were going to grind, bag, and seal about 200 pounds of hamburger from my absolute, very least favorite cow on our entire farm. This cow has tried to kill me three times, as well as gone after a couple of my uncles, and nearly ripped the door off of our truck a time or two. So this morning was like justice; watching all her meat come out of the grinder in strips. I was evil laughing the whole time.

When the job was done this afternoon, Mom asked what I wanted for supper. With a huge grin, I said a cheeseburger. I had the pleasure of proclaiming victory over the massive being which tried to take my life with every bite of my delicious cheeseburger. The best cheeseburger I've EVER had!!!!!

Right Hands

2006-01-30T22:07:00.000-06:00

Who needs their right hand anyway?

I can almost honestly say that if my right hand was cut off right now, I'd be in less pain. This morning I got the worst paper cut in the history of paper cuts received from US History teacher's guides! I lost so much blood that I was actually lightheaded (and that doesn't happen often).

Then, to add insult to current injury, I am playing basketball with my girls today and a stray airball hits me BAM in my right thumb. Its now nasty; broken, bruised, and throbbing. I am such a wimp.

Thank God for lefthandedness; that's all I have to say!

K

2006-01-24T19:00:00.000-06:00

Justin: What's your middle name Miss Kuhnau?
Miss K: I'll give you a hint. It starts with a K.
Justin and Jeffery: Kuhnau...King...Korissa, Karla, Korina, Karl, Kyle, Karly...(and many other random words that actually start with C instead of K)
Justin: I know! K-I-S-S!
A good 7 seconds goes by...
Jeffery: Kiss?
Miss K: Oh yeah, that's definitely it. (Eyes roll and dorky faces made at both boys)
Justin: We need another hint.
Miss K: The letter K is a HUGE hint. Think about it.
Justin: Kiss!
Jeffery: Give me something else to spell. (He got distracted)
So then we are arriving back at school. Mr. C and Sharon have figured out what my middle name is, but the boys still have not. They are not going to let me out of the vehicle until they figure it out.
Sharon: Think guys. K is the biggest hint she can give you.
Jeffery: (looking at me like I'm trying to fool him) Kay!
Miss K: yay! its about time!
With the biggest grin I've ever seen, Jeffery lets out the most surprised cackle I've heard in my life. Then of course, 'Mr. Distracted Pants' randomly stops laughing, looks at me and goes, "Are you coming over to see our house then?"

I love the Webers. They just flat out rock.

Recovered

2006-01-23T22:55:00.000-06:00

Its back. The steering column is broken so you can only start it by hot wiring it, but the Cadillac is back into the hands of my dad. Stolen from Fridley, recovered in Minneapolis, and the license plate was found by a civilian in Brooklyn Center. It's now been towed to Alexandria, and finally to Farwell. I shout from the rooftops - I HATE THE CITY!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, that theif better watch his back, I have some 6th and 7th grade super slueths after him! They may be small, but they don't let people mess with their teacher I guess. :)

The perfect guy

2006-01-21T22:40:00.000-06:00

I watched a movie today. I also decided that I figured out the traits of the perfect man.

The man I am going to marry is the man who is willing to sit on my egg for four months in the dead of winter while I go get some food.

Guess the movie.....and by the way, its even more funny when you watch it with your big girl friends!

Anybody seen my car?

2006-01-19T18:11:00.000-06:00

An "89 Cadillac:

1.) It has a horribly cracked windshield; both horizontal and vertical.
2. ) It has blue duct tape holding together the back left side after someone hit it.
3.) The interior cloth ceiling is coming down and my dad has glue it back up to look as though the cloth is in tile form.
4.) You can no longer open the glove box until you rig the wire system just right. If you get it open, good luck getting it closed.
5.) When you turn on the lights, the left blinker light comes on too. And sometimes the check engine light as well.
6.) If you want heat, its 90 degrees or nothing. The heat only works when you set the temperature to 90 degrees. 89 degrees = nothin'.
7.) The antenna broke off in the car wash once so you only get the station of the town you are driving through.
8.) The automatic lock no longer works so you have to manually lock/unlock all the doors, which takes more muscular strength than one might think. Therefore, we use as few doors as possible.
9.) The paint is chipping off the roof.
10.) The logo decals have been torn off. Part of a dumb prank I suppose.

All these things in one vehicle. The one vehicle that I was driving this week; it was getting me from point A to point B just fine (well with a few conversations of encouragement along the way).

And then some jackass steals it.

They will get what's coming to them. A car that doesn't make it more than 50 miles down the road before they find out that, oops, the gas level indicator isn't exactly accurate either. I pray that is what happens. I pray for the car to just break down on them; it was on its last leg anyway. I hope it just stopped running, leaving those theives cursing its ever dying being altogether. That will bring me peace. That and only that.

Haunted Dreams

2006-01-15T23:00:00.000-06:00

Saddest day ever. Colts lose. No Superbowl. No Indiana trip. I'm glad I didn't watch the game. I would've been in tears. I'm sure of it. Stupid Steelers. But yay for the Bears loss. I'm oh so joyful about that.

Oh my goodness. I need to quit coaching. What I could have done, should have done....All the turnovers, missed lay-ups, missed free throws....Every decision I made that worked, didn't work, would've worked had it been executed right....

It haunts my dreams! I can't sleep at night anymore. I want to close my eyes and see something other than basketball players, courts, referees, and angry dads. I didn't want this job in the first place. Now I'm stuck with it and its the most mentally and emotionally exhausting experience of my life. Oh what to do....I've decided that my dad needs to have knee surgery and have it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It may be my only way out. I'm usually not a quitter, but man, I just don't need the extra stress of this. It doesn't pay enough to comepensate for the therapy I'm going to need when the season is over!

Honesty

2006-01-13T21:21:00.000-06:00

Can you really always be completely honest with people? What if true and complete honest is the exact opposite of what a people wants to hear? Even if you want to be honest, you don't want to hurt another's feelings, so is true honesty always a good thing? Ponder that. I say no.

On the up side, I called my parents last night to vent and ask for advice, and again I reminded of how wonderful they are to me. My dad knows me so well that before I tell him the way I reacted to situations, he finishes my sentences about my reactions and he is ...............RIGHT. Almost always. My mom is the best listener I have ever met; and I tend to talk A LOT! I love them so much. That adoption thing - it totally worked out in my favor!

These Days!!!

2006-01-10T20:03:00.000-06:00

The 13 hour, non-stop, go go go days have got to stop. I'm not built to handle them. At least not built to handle them when fighting off a cold and not being able to sleep at night. I have the tendency to become slightly loopy when I get too overtired and that has definitely taken over my body.

On the up side ~ my team won their first game tonight. Yay! Good way to start the season. We'll have to see how the tournament goes this weekend.

Indiana?

2006-01-07T23:44:00.000-06:00

Now I'm a firm believer that God works in mysterious ways, many times beyond our comprehension. I think He has done it again. Indiana may be in His plan again, just in a different type of ministry. Hmmmmm.

What a day. Fun times in the mall in St. Cloud ~ I have now experienced Hollister and I feel slightly more blind, deaf, and old for the experience. I saw a pair of jeans with random patches that we swore you had to rip off part of an old couch, and I watched Mandy attempt to walk in crazy high heeled shoes. Then I enjoyed pizza and the movie Au Pair and Au Pair 2 with Amy. Great day.

Weekends are wonderful. I'm glad God created them!

Brrrr....

2006-01-03T22:13:00.000-06:00

How do children learn when there classroom is only 55 degrees?

Answer: they have class in other areas of the school; the teacher's lounge, the cafeteria, the gym, the sanctuary. Today was our first real day of school since Thanksgiving; no choir or Christmas program practice to take up half of a day. Now if they can just fix the furnace on our side of the school, things will be just great!!

I did have to laugh though when I am in 2 long sleeve shirts and Brant is wearing his hooded sweatshirt and winter coat, and Peggy and Maureen come strutting down the hallway in sleeveless shirts! Stranger things have happened I know, but not today at POP!!

Dang!!

2005-12-27T21:22:00.000-06:00

Oh man, I swear I am getting old. I was in bed last night and all I had to do was pull the covers up, roll over, and fall fast asleep....

Somehow in the process of that, I twisted something in my shoulder, back and neck. It hurt last night, but I thought maybe it would go away by morning. Well, it didn't and could barely turn my head all day today. I heated, I iced, I went to a massage therapist, I layed down most of the day, etc. I can't believe how sore my shoulders and neck are. I knew I was stressed, but seriously!!!! This is nuts! I am getting way older than I should be!

Anyway, the day kinda made me start thinking about going back to school to be a massage therapist. :) Sometimes its good to have options!

What to Do

2005-12-23T21:10:00.000-06:00

Today, for whatever reason, the realization hit me that I really don't know what to do when this school year is over. I don't know if its something I should worry about yet, or if its something to just keep in the back of my head and worry about a little bit over time.

As much as I love home, I have no social life here. There is no shower in our basement, so living with my parents will make me very dependent upon them. And I think I will feel like a big loser if I move back home. To stay at POP means I have to teach 7th-8th grade, coach everything, and be athletic director. I don' t want to teach middle school, I don't want to have the same group of kids for 3 years (more for their sake than mine), and I don't want to be athletic director. But this job has benefits; where else will i find that if I don't know what else to do? Maybe my sister would rent her upstairs room to me, but again, I'd be dependent on her and her husband for a kitchen, bathroom, etc. It would help them financially though....ugh, i wish I had answers.

I wish there was someone else in my life whose life was dependent on some of my decisions. Not so that I could screw someone else up, but I truly think it would help me decide where to go geographically, and what to do with my life. I think I know what I want, but how can I be sure? I can't live my life in fear, but I'm so afraid. I hate being alone in this. That might be the worst part of it all.

So if you read this, all I ask is that you pray for me. I don't want pity, and I don't mean to feel sorry for myself, I just have trouble verbalizing this to people because I know full well that there are SO many people worse off than me, who would love to have a job, an apartment, to be able to pay bills even if there is little left when finished. I'm grateful for what I do have, i just pray that God irons out the kinks.

Too Early

2005-12-15T20:46:00.000-06:00

This morning was one of those mornings where I should have just stayed in bed. I had 2 shirts laying out; a turtleneck sweater or a button down blouse. I chose the blouse and proceeded to shiver and shake ALL DAY LONG! It was terrible! But the story gets better than that...

It was snowing and I knew I would have to trudge through the snow and clean off my car before leaving for work. So I put my boots on and throw my black shoes into my school bag. When I arrive at school, I pull out my shoes and slide them on without a thought. It was an hour later that I happen to look down towards my feet. Yes I was wearing my black shoes, but I was wearing two completely different black shoes! Oops!

Needless to say, I went with the dress clothes/tennis shoes look today because at least I then had a matching PAIR of shoes! Oiy.

March 1, 1967 - December 8, 2005

2005-12-13T20:08:00.000-06:00

When I was growing up, there were older cousins that I was fond of, and others I was intimidated by. And then there was Tammy. She was the cousin you wanted to grow up to be. She was beautiful, funny, loved her family, so kind to everyone, and most of all, put Jesus first in her life ALL the time. It didn't matter the time, place, situation, person...she spoke to anyone and everyone about her Lord. That's the biggest reason I wanted to grow up to be Tammy. I want the courage to speak out my faith the way that she did. Even in her pain and her suffering, she trusted God's will and purpose for her life. Every day.

So as I grow up, I will strive to live with the courage Tammy did. I wish i could have thanked her personally for the example she set for us. Its easy to say she died too soon, but God allowed her to touch so many people in her short time. He had a plan the whole time. He packed so much love, joy, and inspiration into Tammy because he knew her time was short. Praise God!

In memory of Tammy Louise Kuhnau
March 1, 1967 - December 8, 2005

Thankfulness

2005-11-23T20:31:00.000-06:00

I love this holiday ~ my principal in Indiana expressed her love about Thanksgiving to me once. Its like Christmas to her because this holiday hasn't been nearly as commercialized as Christmas. But most of all, I love Thanksgiving because it forces people to look at their blessings, we none of us do often enough.

So here is my list of things I am thankful for:

My dad - who I admire more than anyone in the world because he's AWESOME!
My mom - who listens to me whatever the case
My sister - who does her best to make me pretty even though that's hard :)
My brother-in-law - who somehow makes my sister incredibly happy
Camp people - crazy happy folks
Friends and Relatives - who actually enjoy being around me
Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper - total pick me ups
Running Shoes - they race me back to sanity
John Deere stuff and One Tree Hill - and other harmless obsessions
My cell phone - connections to the outside world
The farm - peace and serenity
My car - cracked windshield and overdue oil change and all!
Lacey - who although thinks I helped her last year, probably has NO IDEA what she did for me
And by far the most important:
Faith - and the saving grace of Jesus Christ - the only reason for getting up each morning

Disappointment and Hurt

2005-11-19T11:59:00.000-06:00

When someone comes into town to visit, most people do a few standard things; clean their place up so its "suitable for company", fill their fridge so that company is well-fed, and get all happy because someone is coming into town to see them.

However, when that friend comes to town and chooses not to even stay with you...ouch. Doesn't come to events in her life that you've invited her to....ouch. Doesn't call to say she won't make it to see you at all for a day....ouch. Doesn't call the next morning to plan something with you...ouch. Do you get the feeling that this friend did not come into town to see you??? Yeah, me too.

The worst part for me is that this friend knows my fear of rejection probably better than anyone else, and she went ahead and rejected me in her own way anyway. Talk about the sick feeling in your stomach. I have a deep pain going on right now.

Growing up Kuhnau

2005-11-14T22:15:00.000-06:00

Wow. I haven't felt so glad to be at school in a while as I did today. AFter spending four days in Oregon with my mom for a funeral, I am MORE THAN READY to get back to life as I knew it. I wished this weekend that God had blessed me with more patience; to handle my mom on her first plane ride. Oh my gosh, worse than a small child. Much worse.

However, I got to see some relatives that I have now met I think three times in my life. Its so weird on my mom's side because there is so much distance between all of us and no one is really that close. I guess that's probably normal, but seems strange due to the crazy closeness of the Kuhnaus. I actually mentioned the phrase, "You throw a rock you hit a Kuhnau" this weekend to my second cousins Brandon and Charis. They laughed pretty hard. They also decided that would have been a cool way to grow up; that close to pretty much your entire extended family. And it was. Growing up Kuhnau gives you definite quirks, but i wouldn't trade it for the world.

I want to write more, but my eyes are barely open. Maybe another night. Fool arrives in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First Game, First Loss

2005-11-07T21:39:00.000-06:00

Well, its not like soccer season. Although we scored 20 points, we fell short of St. John's - Maple Grove by a score of 20-30. Although my girls basketball team lost though, they scored about 18 more points than I expected. I guess if I set low standards, I will always be happy with the outcome!

We play again tomorrow, and our opponent should be less skilled than today's opponent, so maybe I'll have happier news then.

Meanwhile, the highlight of my day was sitting at lunch with John talking about the "good old days" of TV shows: Heathcliff, Alf, Square One, Carmen Sandiago, the Muppets, Smurfs, Chipmunks, oh man, i have no idea how this 12 year old knew about these wonderful shows of the past, but it made my day that he did!!!!!!

Fool is Coming!!!!!

2005-11-04T09:25:00.000-06:00

I love talking to Carrie, the best friend, the bff, the Fool. We've been calling each other Fool for so long now that I sometimes can't even remember why we do it. But we do, and I love that we do, and I love that I have a friend who is such a great friend that I can call her names like "Fool" and she can call me "Fool" and its actually a term of endearment.

I hate the distance between us, but even during our 4 years in college, it was obvious that we came from very different places and lived very different lives and wanted different things out of life. And so now 15 hours seperate my best friend from me.

I've decided there is good in this as well as bad. I get to see her once or twice a year, but when I do, each time is so special, so fun, and I don't take it for granted. I'm afraid that is what i do when things are right there at my disposal. I don't realize what good they are to me, or bring to me. So the distance only makes me fonder, and more excited about those few times I get to see her. And its coming so fast. Only a week and a half!!!! I can't wait, I really really can't.

I thank God for people like Fool. People who are SO completely different from me, yet "just get me" and care about me for who I am, and what I do. They accept me for who I am, weird quirks, tomboyish nature, lack of security, fear of commitment me.

Life isn't fair

2005-11-01T21:03:00.000-06:00

I have a job that never ends. Never. I have no life because I work all the time. When I'm not working, I know I should be because there is work to do. Is it worth it?

No.

This is the clear as day conclusion I came to this weekend after spending a weekend at home with my family. Its the conclusion that has been in the back of my head for the past 2 1/2 years, but it has come fully to a head now. One problem; I have three quarters of the school year to go.

I know what I want; to be near my parents, to be able to help on the farm, to have a job that I don't have to take home, to have a social life (even if its still pathetic). I know what I don't want; I don't want to teach, I don't want to live alone, and I don't want to live in the city.

So for now, I wait. I get through the school year and then I get on with my life. I pray for strength to get through each day. I pray for enough smiles to cover my feelings for awhile. I pray for sanity to get through this basketball season. I pray for an end to the monotonous tasks, though I know that will not come. One day at a time.

On to the next

2005-10-24T21:05:00.000-05:00

After just finishing soccer less than one week ago, today began 4th-6th grade girls basketball. Wow, what a difference in the way I need to coach! First, I now have only girls (I now feel the need to apologize to everyone who came in contact with me while I was in middle school-oye). Second, I have some less-skilled players, and third, I have only seven of them. At least there will be plenty of room for my big-girl butt on the bench!!!!

Conference, conference, conference

2005-10-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

Thursday and Friday were spent in Mankato at the District Teacher's Conference. I can summarize the event with the words, "Its a small world." I ran into so many people I had some known in the past, or had some sort of expereince with in the past. It was amazing all the connections I had with people there, be it from camp, coaching, student teaching, Concordia, or growing up at Zion. I found this a very fun time, simply because when I attended the district convention while teaching in Indiana, I knew 2 people outside of the staff I was working on.

Friday afternoon I spent shopping in Mankato before dinner and a movie with my sister. I had to say I LOVE the town of Mankato!!!! They have everything a person could ever want: Shopko, Chipotle, Coldstone, and best of all, Hobby Lobby. I had a most enjoyable afternoon, then saw Elizabethtown. Interesting. "Its a great map."

Quote this time goes to Wayne, who when with the staff we are discussing who is driving to the conference, Wayne (who rarely pipes up) pipes up and says, "Let's take the bus!"
(now this story is funny if you realize that there are only 7 people on staff and the bus seats 72).

The Last....

2005-10-17T20:18:00.000-05:00

Today was our last soccer practice. Tomorrow is our last game. 12 of my 18 players actually showed up for practice today. Now i know this is middle school co-ed 7th and8th grade players, but really, i think I have a right to be mad about it. It was a fun practice, too, or at least it was intended to be. Grrr... I didn't want to end the season this way, but I don't feel like players who skip practice should be able to play.

So I joined the Handbell choir at church. Now I am not all that musically talented really. I can read treble clef, can strum chords on a guitar or plink out a one-hand piano wonder, but really, I am not that musically talented. However, I find myself so bored during this hour of the week. I guess I just pick things up faster than other people do, cuz I feel like I spent 3/4 of the hour waiting for others to figure things out. For this I should be thankful, but I'm so gosh darn impatient.

The quote for the day came from Jeff at soccer practice today. We were playing World Cup, where you and a partner represent a country and try to score a goal. The boys were getting mad at the girls for cherry picking near the goal. They started the "CPU" (cherry pickers united) and kept razzing the girls about it all. Well, the ball lands at Jeff's feet, and as he is talking smack to the girls, shoots the ball, however, instead of yelling the name of his country, he shouts "CHERRY PICKING!" I'm not sure which was funnier; the comment or the way Jeff immediately fell to the ground laughing at himself and his own silly slip up. Ah, good times.

Long Day!

2005-10-15T22:00:00.000-05:00

So last night was interesting....

Lindsey ends up in the hospital; scary. However, if you are going to be in the hospital, Woodwinds Hospital is the place to be! Nice place. I'm so thankful Lindsey's parents are now here and she is back home and on the road to recovery.

I went to the CSP game and watched flashbacks of my days on that team. Injuries have straddled them, and their play tonight was nothing more than sad. I actually left early - that was a first.

Tonight I get invited to a bonfire for my cousin Bradley who is moving to California on Monday. Such wonderful cousins I have to invite me to a bonfire at 7:00pm when I live 2 hours away. And they wonder why I make snide comments to them at times...gee, what a mystery. Needless to say, I will not be SAYING goodbye to Brad, but my prayers for his safety and sanity will have to do.

So I leave you with the quote of the day:
"A doctor came in and talked to me. I know he was talking, but I don't remember what he said!" - Lindsey

Wilbur

2005-10-11T22:30:00.000-05:00

Our whole school went to Charlotte's Web this morning and were wowed by children their own age and the stage presence they had. It was wonderful! Two thumbs up for Stages Theater Company in Hopkins! This afternoon my team (with all present) defeated Maple Grove; revenge was had after Saturday's experience with them. So overall - good day.

Quote of the day (and this was funny enough to last the whole week): "(sigh) and there it goes."
{You really had to be there}

2005-10-09T16:37:00.000-05:00

So do you ever find yourself thinking, "I can't wait until Sunday...i can just sit back and relax."?? Well, I was thinkin' that today. I came home from church about noon and was rather excited about the thought having very little to do today. However, after about an hour, I was bored out of my mind!!!! Now this would be less of a problem if this wasn't what happened EVERY TIME I said the above quote. When will I learn?

Anyway, knowing that the Vikings were not playing, I was excited to watch my favorite football team play. (Go Colts!) But alas, 3:05 pm came around and bah! Nothing. At least not on my few cable stations. So disappointing. But my time was well spent as I decided to make gift bags for all the players on my team. I love to do those kinds of things. Tonight will be full of the joys that come from watching Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. Isn't my life just so exciting???!!!

Best story/quote of the day came this morning in church when I was running the CD player on the sound system for our kids to sing. There was a 20 oz. bottle of A&W cream soda by the sound system that no one near it was claiming. The story went something like this:
Jeff: Oh, Brenda, you know what you are doing?
Brenda: Yep, I"m smarter than I look.
Jeff: (picking up the soda) Well I thought this was Miller Light, so i didn't know if you had all your members about you.
Brenda: (mouth agape, completely speechless)
Jeff: I better go stand in the narthex. I'm making ruckus in Jesus' house right now.

2nd place

2005-10-08T18:23:00.000-05:00

Go Eagles!

Only one exclamation mark because we fell short today. My soccer team lost in the championship game of the conference tourney today. We were just outplayed by Maple Grove and missing 2 defensive started killed us. But we played hard, and second place is so much better than last place, which is where we finished last year.

My parents came down today for the tournament. It was fun to see them and hear my dad yelling on the sidelines. Brant had to call the cops onto the field thing morning because of some football players who wanted to use the fields. Brant is good in crisis; he handled it all very well.

I talked to a friend today who I haven't spoken to in awhile. Life is too short to give up on people. Even people that have let you down. You never know when you will see, hear from, or speak to someone for the last time. I learned that the hard way this week, and I'm not about to let it happen with anyone else.

Quote for the day: "Wow. Miss Kuhnau can really yell!" - Mrs. Hill

Mood Swings

2005-10-05T22:14:00.000-05:00

Today had its definite ups and downs. Upside was sleeping in cuz its Wednesday, the One Tree Hill season premiere, and a good chitty-chat with Lacey tonight. Not so hot things today were irritations were fellow co-workers, soccer players, and the death of a friend, Melissa Theel. My prayers go out to her family during this difficult time. But we know that her soul is in heaven and she's singing with Jesus right now, basking in the paradise with our Lord. Praise God that earthly death is not the final ending!

I'm LLL-learning!

2005-10-04T20:31:00.000-05:00

So I just set this up with the help of my wonderful friend Lindsey. She is so smart! She may argue with that, but I know the truth! Hopefully I figure out this computer stuff soon so I can be smart like Lindsey, too!