Life isn't fair

I have a job that never ends. Never. I have no life because I work all the time. When I'm not working, I know I should be because there is work to do. Is it worth it?

No.

This is the clear as day conclusion I came to this weekend after spending a weekend at home with my family. Its the conclusion that has been in the back of my head for the past 2 1/2 years, but it has come fully to a head now. One problem; I have three quarters of the school year to go.

I know what I want; to be near my parents, to be able to help on the farm, to have a job that I don't have to take home, to have a social life (even if its still pathetic). I know what I don't want; I don't want to teach, I don't want to live alone, and I don't want to live in the city.

So for now, I wait. I get through the school year and then I get on with my life. I pray for strength to get through each day. I pray for enough smiles to cover my feelings for awhile. I pray for sanity to get through this basketball season. I pray for an end to the monotonous tasks, though I know that will not come. One day at a time.